Tempted

If I had only a pill to take for me to be fully ignorant, would I take it? I don't know... I would surely be tempted, but... I wish I never have to do this choice. "Ignorance is bliss" but knowledge is perfection. May I be blessed with pure knowledge or be stricken by complete ignorance, nothingness, void.

World

This is my world. Before the human, I am a world. I am the sun of my planet. I am the one that will create this planet in seven days. I am on the second day now. I heard that there are other stars as well. Some finished their planets while other and just starting to shape them. I am still confused, being only on the second day. Even if I am greatly mindforged, I am not bodyshaped nor quite yet spiritcasted. To better sculpt myself I would need a moon. But moons that completes me are quite the rare piece. I found one that seems to acknowledge that fact, but my light is only uneasily hitting her surface and thus, my planet does not yet receive her full glory. Do lions eat fish? Blood-Jewel-of-Evergreens is tempting but Gold-of-Fire is dumb.

Haikué

Mes cordes en demande, une pelotte me monte à la gorge.
Un chat en jailli.

Une pointe me perçe le coeur. Je sent se dernier rapetisser.
ça part et revient pour finalement aboutir à...

On ne le lit pas mais il se consulte très bien.
Il sont dur a avoir ces medecins.

Worst?

Falling with Grace

Falling toward the unique fatality, / Tomber vers l'unique fatalité,

is it really the worst of finalities? / est-ce la la pire des finalités?

Feed

Hey people! I know some of you are regularly checking my blog; there are even some that put me on an rss/atom feed! Any of you that does that, please, leave a comment! Also, what I write here is not static. I am very open-minded and want criticisim! If you object or abide by the entries I make, please do comment on it! You can even say that I am a dumbass for saying this or that for this or that reason (comments with insults without explanations, and explanations without sense, will be deleted)! I want feedback! On anything in my blog! Thanks people for encouraging me!

Evil

People I meet are usually socially sane. But some, who live by the people (and not from or for it), does whatever the people say is cool. If the people say that getting pierced is cool, then he does it. If the people say that smoking is cool, then he smokes. What if the people say that killing is cool? Yes, he will kill. These persons do not seek the truth, they flee it; thus, darkening the world in its own decadence. They don't care about rules, they don't care about anything else than their own social image. I hate these people. They are the evil of this world. They act without thought. They use and destroy. I despise these people. They are lambs. They follow blindly, zealously standing by propaganda. Buying all that tv sells. Why do I keep myself from hurting them? Because, for the people, THAT would be evil. To rid evil from this world would be evil. Welcome to our world.

Discovering

I am confused. You know, even though I don't look like it (at least, I hope I don't), I never had a real girlfriend. So (even though this is no excuse) for me, hitting on a girl is a very hazardous journey. SO, still discovering the "opposite sex", I can jump to stupid conclusions. One of them is in another entry below intitled "Not". I risk some of my sanity in this, but the spoils would be far greater. Again, if God do exist, may He (or She. or It...) guide my hand, thoughts and others toward the ultimate goal of this journey.

Afraid

I am afraid. I am afraid that I will either not be able to complete my life as what it should be or to not be able to meet someone else as my beloved. Many had to make that choice before me. Some chose the first while the others chose the latter. Unfortunately, most of them are not happy with their choice. I want to devote myself completely to the current studying life I have but I am afraid that in that case, love won't find me. But if I try my luck at love, I am afraid that I won't find it; and even if I do, that my studies will be scraped. Oh, women of my world, help me on my way, give me the love to go throught these obstacles of life. Oh, teachers of the way, give me the benefit of doubt on my exams. Oh, people, do.

Restraints

I want to go beyond, but I can't! I'll be all alone if I do. To be alone is to be forgotten and to be forgotten is worse than death. If I go, I'll die. More than die. Things in this life are keeping me from going beyond, restraints. Like others who tried before me, I won't be able to pass the process. I am stuck in this plane of existence, stuck with others like me that are alone without their complete self, their love. Wow! Nowdays, everything in my life concerns love. In fact, not only nowdays but everyday love is present. Gosh, do I need some...

Snow

Piece of Winter

They fall and fall all slowly / Ils tombent et tombent tout doucement
The sky is blooming / Le ciel est en fleur
The clouds are ripped away / Les nuages brisent et se couchent
The heavens are cold / Les cieux sont de glace
Eveything is white and blue / Tout scintille en bleu et blanc

Envy/Courage

Yep, envy just kicked in a few minutes ago. There are so much things I am not yet good (because anybody can do anything) at and others are that it sucks. Some emotion that can ruin your days and brighten those of others. But, once again, I am not flinching and even less abdicating. I WILL beat the crap out of these guys. I WILL beat the living shit out this this life and its affiliates. Take that motherfucker! (punch in the stomach so hard it lifts up in the air, stays there for a while then comes crashing down back sided on my very carefully placed knee... yep, thats gotta hurt...)

Sex

I just figured out that everything is about sex... By everything, I litteraly mean EVERYTHING. No good movie ever got out if there weren't some alusion to sex (some half-dressed girl or a very muscular, blonde haired guy...). No good novels doesn't have a sex scene written in it. Sure, some actually doesn't have that much sexy things in them, BUT these are rare cases... and even then, sex is just not in some kind of imaged size. Sometimes, I am ashamed that I have to think about sex. I know that all of this is completely natural, instinctual. But, I don't know... Maybe because that it's too much instinctual, too basic that I don't like it, me that want to be so rational, so logical. Like the sub-title of this blog says : I am jammed just before social uncompletness... surely because I reject most of what is to be "basic"...

Not

She ain't loving, but she's liking... more appreciating than liking but liking nonetheless... I am stopping this right now. No more "abuse" to her part. BUT, I am not flinching... Still hoping for the best, with more time!

Chill

Winter's Moon


Glistening in the dark heavens
lies the brightess of all diamonds.
she is sought by oh so many,
all seeking her grand purity.

Unique form, one of those that seeks,
gently blows from the icy peaks.
Herself is as clear as crystal.
Her name, cold but soft, is Mistral.

She climbs high, step by step, upward,
where she gets all closer, onward,
she tries hard to grab but misses
to give it a thousand kisses.

Now all can enjoy the boon
of a chilly winter's moon.

Cieux

Toi qui flotte haut vers le bleu ciel,
n'as tu peur de perdre tes ailes?
Toi qui embrasse les ouates d'azur,
comment reste-tu aussi pur?

Esclave soumis de liberté,
de rien tu est prisonnier.
Plane au dessus des oceans,
obéis a la loi du vent.

Mein Herz Brennt

Während die Sonne in der Asche der Dämmerung stirbt
und der Nachthimmel den Mond als sein Anhänger trägt,
bin ich dort und warte das Phoenix der Zeit,
das den Horizont mit der Aurora von Dämmerung brennt.

Lonely

I need to go to my edge, the edge that permits me to extrudate all of my movements and coordination of my touches so that others actually feels me. I want to be felt as much as I want to feel, see, hear and taste others. Loneliness is killing me. I don't seem to learn anymore, nothing new anyway. I need to cross other limits to know them. I really want someone beside me, telling me that I am not alone anymore. That she understands and that I will understand. I need to understand that person, that sole person that will wrap her arms around me, loving me as much I love her. I need to love. I want to love. Help me.

Talent

Is it really just talent? Is optimism and morale have a much bigger role than first thought? Is someone really better at something ehen he is naturally good at it or is someone good at something when he sees the thing on the bright side?

Maths

Focus

I was hit by despair today. I think (do I really?) that I need more concentration. You can say I can't focus on things. It was I that wanted to fade, not the world around me. I must find a way to heal, to deabstract my mind. Regroup, rethink, reshape.